Monday, March 16, 2015

On recognising my own achievements

Today I have been doing the internal equivalent of a Kermit the frog arm flail from excitement because I reached a major goal on my weight loss journey. So, yes, I look a bit like this but just not as green or as skinny...yet!

It’s been really interesting to talk to people recently. Everyone is being really encouraging about the weight loss journey and I am grateful to everyone who takes the time to say something. But here’s the thing. Sometimes people say things that they mean in an encouraging way but they come out a bit differently. So, for example, someone I know keeps on telling me that I am so skinny. And I have lost a lot of weight but there is no way that I am skinny. There is still plenty of work to be done. Still at least another 20kgs. At least. Or there was the man in the coffee shop the other week who told me that not only did I look so much better but that I was a much nicer person now. What the heck does that even mean? I am the same person that I was, same personality. The fact that they didn’t rate me before potentially says something about them rather than me.

But I do find myself thinking about how I recognise my own achievements. Most of the time when someone says to me “oh my goodness you have lost so much weight”, my instant reaction is to almost dismiss the compliment with a comment along the lines of I have so much more to go. It’s not like I can’t see the weight loss now. It took me a long time but I can definitely see the changes in my face and certain parts of my body. For example, I love the fact that I can see and feel my collarbones now and I like to feel my shoulder bones just because I can!!

What I don’t want to do is get to the point where I think that I am done now. If I stayed at my current weight could I be happy? Probably. But the fact is that I want to get lower. My next goal is now another 5kgs away and then 5kgs after that etc. Right now I can walk into a normal clothes shop and find stuff that fits, not everything, but some at least. Another 10kgs and I should be able to walk in and buy almost anything.

I worry far more about things like what to wear when than I ever used to. It’s a bit odd really. I had a conversation with a friend a couple of days ago about how it is more about taking pride in your appearance. I’ve been buying new clothes, shoes, accessories and it has been fun but it’s also a bit strange. Does it really matter what you wear when and wear? Apparently in my new world it does. And it did in my old world as well but it was different. Part of the reason why it was different is that I couldn’t recognise myself properly. Not sure if that makes sense but let me try and show you an example and hopefully that will help. A couple of months ago now I cleaned out my wardrobe. I got rid of almost everything I had in there that was too big now and there was a huge pile of clothes. If you had of asked me about those clothes I would have said that I had some favourite clothes that I liked to wear but I wouldn’t have necessarily said that I had much in the way of nice clothes. A friend’s sister came to look through the clothes that I had and took the vast majority of them and she was rapt. She kept on saying oh my goodness, there are so many nice clothes here.

I guess what it comes down to at the moment is that I am trying to work out what my new normal feels like. And it does feel very different to my old normal. I feel much better emotionally and much better physically but there are some days when it just feels very strange.

And in the hopes of recognising my own achievements here are a couple of photos which show the transformation so far. The photos where I am wearing the purple shirt were taken in July last year. At that point I had already lost around 10kgs. The photos where I am wearing pink were taken two or three weeks ago. I would totally make the one where I am standing sideways my Facebook profile photo if I didn't think it would look a bit weird.

Probably should have done my hair properly before taking these photos and cleaned up the bedroom. Oh well, next time.


  1. You look amazing! I haven't seen you in just a couple of weeks and even still the difference is incredible. You should be so proud of what you have achieved and even though it probably feels like ages, for what you have done, it's not.

  2. I loved your Kermit the frog video. Made me laugh out loud. You've done so well with your weight journey. It's close to impossible for some people to achieve what you've achieved. Give your self a big hug

  3. Way to go, Marg! I think it's hardwired in women to downplay our accomplishments, but we all need to stop and pat ourselves on the back once in a while. Now go treat yourself to a Keith Urban concert!

  4. What I like about this post is that it's not just a wonderful celebration of your achievement, but it's also a thoughtful exploration of the whole New Me phenomenon. I've liked and admired you both before and after (or should I say 'during') and I thought you were attractive before as well as now because you have beautiful skin and hair and such good dress sense... so to me, you are the same person, it's just that now you are a poster girl for Grit and Determination *hug*
    And yes, you do look better, but more importantly you are going to be around for a long time, fit and healthy, and I bet that means a lot to The Boy as well as to your friends. (I had a friend who died of diabetes in his forties leaving a distraught wife who had trouble forgiving him for not looking after himself for her sake).
    PS I love the way you are staring down the chocolates in the Before photos.

  5. You look wonderful! And this: "The fact that they didn’t rate me before potentially says something about them rather than me." Yes, yes, and yes!

  6. I suspected I'd probably be tempted to headbutt the guy who said "I was a much nicer person now" while I still had some weight behind me! Aren't people dreadful?!

  7. You look fantastic - definitely worth celebrating!

  8. Good job. I'm sure there was a lot of work to get a visible result, so hats off to you for keeping on. :)

  9. I completely understand what you mean about caring more about your appearance as you get closer to the body you want. I have noticed that about myself, too (though I guess it also coincided with my getting a job that pays better and my disposable income going up). I think I just feel more confident in my appearance and so am more willing to show that confidence in the clothes I wear. Or, I want the outside to reflect how I feel on the inside. Does that make sense?

    And I agree with everyone here - definitely a journey worth celebrating, even if you are not at the destination quite yet :-)

  10. Yayayayay you! Celebrate, celebrate. Each step is so worth it. You are looking fabulous.