Friday, August 22, 2025

Your Friend and Mine by Jessica Dettman



Do you have friendships in your past that were so important at the time, all consuming and yet they fizzled out either a bit or totally, leaving behind a shadow on your soul? I do. For me, the particular person is someone I was friends with nearly 40 years ago and she was my absolute best friend for maybe 3 years until we just weren't friends any more. I never really knew what happened, just that something had happened. 

When Margot was young, she had some friends but it wasn't until she met English backpacker Tess who started working at the same bar as her, that she met her friendship soulmate. Tess was vibrant, brave and outgoing, in many of the ways that Margot didn't see in herself. Together the girls worked, partied and dreamt of a future that included Margot coming to live in London.  Except, Margot didn't end up going to London. Instead she met a man named Johnny and together they built a life running a restaurant. Whilst Margot and Tess's friendship wasn't over, it was changed. And then Tess died.

Twenty years later, Margot receives an email from beyond the grave telling her of a legacy that she has left behind. Tess has correctly guessed that Margot is somewhat stifled in her current life, and that she never did take that trip to London. Margot's relationship with Johnny is complicated, bound together by obligations to their joint business and their Taylor Swift loving son, Augie.

Tess has left behind some money which will pay for flights and accommodation but there is one stipulation. Margot will need to collect a series of letters which will give her some instruction on what she will need to do once she is in London, almost like a beyond the grave treasure hunt map. If possible, she needs to undertake at least some of these quests with Leo, Tess's former step brother/friend, who Tess also seemed to know would be living less than his best life.

Armed with a series of letters from Tess, Margot and Leo traverse London, visiting many of the places that were important to Tess. However, the letters were more than just a set of instructions. Tess also reveals her deepest secrets to the only people she trusts. Suddenly, the facade of vibrancy that Tess wore so well when she was alive instead becomes the mask that she hid behind so that no one could see the hurt and damage.

This is such a clever idea for a story, and I really enjoyed the tasks that Tess set Margot and Leo. However, Tess was actually pretty judgemental about the lives that Margot and Leo chose to live, even if she was actually right about a lot of it. It wasn't surprising that Margot in particular was somewhat annoyed at Tess at times.

There were a lot of really fun pop culture references both from the late 90's up until now, particularly thanks to Augie's love of Taylor Swift. 

A few weeks ago, before I read the book, I attended an author event where Jessica Dettman and Sally Hepburn spoke about this book. Jessica also talked about her trip to the UK to visit some of the places, and do some of the activities that are mentioned in the book and she told some really fab stories.  I really enjoyed the conversation and came away really excited about reading it! 

Luckily for me, my excitement wasn't misplaced as this is another great read from Jessica Dettman. I found myself being moved in nearly to tears in one chapter and then laughing out loud in the next. It did also make me think, in particular about my friend, but also about the time that I spent living in the UK in the early 1990s. I have previously read another of her books which also had a similarly interesting premise and I am definitely keen to read more from her backlist in due course. 

I am sharing this review with the New Release Challenge hosted at The Chocolate Lady's Book Reviews. I was very surprised to get a physical copy of this book from Allen and Unwin, so thanks to the publisher for the review copy. 

Rating 4/5

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