Saturday, April 30, 2011

Weekend Cooking: What's your coffee personality?

My Weekend Cooking post this week is inspired by a character in Sarah Addison Allen's The Peach Keeper. The character, whose name is Rachel, works in a camping store owned by one of the two main characters in the novel. She is the one who is responsible for keeping the cafe section of the store running and she has some very interesting ideas about coffee and how the coffee that you feel like having each day can be reflective of your mood! So if you come in happy you may want a frappucino for example, and if you are not so happy maybe something a little less frothy.

When I was thinking about this post I spent ages looking for information about what your coffee drinking habits reveal about you, and unfortunately for me, I didn't come out particularly well in the results that I found. You see, I am not much of a coffee or tea drinker. I will drink them when I go out, but it is very rare for me to actually make myself a coffee or tea when I am at home by myself. In fact, when I was cleaning out my pantry this week, I threw out two jars of instant coffee. One was nearly empty, but the expiry date was three years ago, and the other jar hadn't even been opened but expired even longer ago.

Luckily, someone has written a book that addresses this topic. The You Code was written by Judi James and James Moore and was released last year. It also looks at other topics like your favourite TV programme, to the filling in your sandwich and analyses what that says about you.

I am closer to a non coffee drinker than anything, but when I do have coffee, I will either have a cappuccino or a latte, so lets see what the results say for someone with my coffee tastes:

The non-coffee drinker:

"Unfortunately, the verdict isn't good. Frightened of coffee equals frightened of life. If the taste of coffee puts you off you really are a child and it's time to join the world of grown ups. But there's hope. "Twenty one days is all it will take to break your cycle of disgust and then you'll be back in the real world."

The latte drinker:

"Typically metrosexuals or cuddly-toy collectors, latte drinkers are pleasers with an overwhelming compulsion to be liked. A latte drinking boss will use a baby voice to tell you off. By taking a dark and dangerous drink and turning it into a comforting milky bedtime beverage latte drinkers reveal that while they may want to come across as hot shot contenders, they have an immature side."

The cappuccino drinker:

"Like their drink, cappuccino drinkers are all froth and bubble, bored by detail and liking - but not obsessed with - material objects. The cappuccino drinker enjoys sex but is easily bored by an unimaginative partner."
"Cappuccino froth gives the tongue the mother of all workouts and is all to do with the physicality of the experience rather than the basic consumption of the beverage."

The instant coffee drinker:

"These are cheerful, straight forward types, who like a laugh and live by the maxim "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". But instant coffee drinkers can be unadventurous in their careers and need to let others see the hidden depths in their personality. The no-nonsense instant coffee drinker is allergic to pretentious behaviour, and they are likely to keep their socks on during sex"

So what about the more hard core coffee drinkers?

The espresso drinker

The espresso is 'the unfiltered cigarette of the coffee drinking world'. Espresso drinkers tend to be moody, hard-bitten and hard working. They are into leadership and fast goals. They don't suffer fools but are hard living and prone to 'night-time shenanigans, followed by a rather louche attempt at day time repair". The espresso drinker can be an experienced, exciting and consummate lover but is not known for reliability or unswerving loyalty."

The decaf soy milk drinker:

"A self-righteous eco-worrier and attention seeker with a tendency to be picky, fussy - and squeamish in the bedroom. What's more, this faux choice implies a pretentious, high-maintenance type who wants what they can't have and is disguising their true personality."

The frappucino drinker :

"Flighty and shallow, the frappucino drinker will try anything once - especially if a celebrity has done it first. They fancy themselves trend setters but send out the message that they are someone who favours style over substance. The frappucino drinker's relationships often last as long as their drink choice"

To be honest, when I look at those there isn't really any type of coffee drinker that comes out of it very well!

At the beginning of this post, I said that it took a while to find examples of this. Turns out I should have just looked at Sarah Addison Allen's website as she not only has some recipes from the book, but also has some other personality evaluations based on your coffee choices (click on the Not Just Fiction link).

Another fun thing is to input your coffee order into The Oracle of Starbucks which will tell you your personality type based on your coffee order. Somewhat predictably, my result said I was lame!

You would have to wonder what the Oracle would make of some of the following orders:

As an aside, if you want some really fun reads and haven't read Sarah Addison Allen, I would highly recommend them. They also tend to feature a lot of food related story telling with emphasis on the magic of food. For example, in one of her books, there is a character who bakes cakes that effect the mood of the town, and in another there is a caterer who uses different edible plants in her food. Claire from Garden Spells makes a cameo appearance in The Peach Keeper, and it was great to see her again.

 Weekend Cooking is hosted by Beth Fish Reads and is open to anyone who has any kind of food-related post to share: Book (novel, nonfiction) reviews, cookbook reviews, movie reviews, recipes, random thoughts, gadgets, fabulous quotations, photographs.


  1. Fun post! I don't fit the mold because I would drink instant or espresso.

  2. I enjoyed reading this :)
    Not sure what it says about me that I drink endless cups of tea, all types and varieties (with the exception of oolongs which I loathe).

    I read Allen for the first time last year -- Garden Spells -- and I liked it alot.

  3. Oooh I am still a child!! I don't mind though. Drinking coffee wouldn't be a good idea for me anyway, it would bother my stomach too much. So yeah I stick to the non coffee. Nice post though :) And the book is still on my TBR.

  4. That was fun but it didn't address my coffee tastes which would be any bold, freshly ground coffee. Staying in the spirit of the book's definitions, maybe coffee snob? LOL

    The Peach Keeper is on my to-read list. It's been getting a lot of nice reviews.

  5. Interesting post this week, Marg. It turns out, at my advanced age, I'm really a child frightened of the world. I find that funny. I've never cared for the taste of coffee and find myself in a very small minority in most places. I guess I could have picked up the habit at some point in my life but I just didn't want to be one of the masses. I do love good tea, iced or hot.

  6. I drink my coffee with only Coffee Mate Vanilla Caramel. Wonder what that says about me?

    I might find this book, I'd like to see what it says about me based on what tv and sandwiches I like.

    Great post!

  7. my favorite coffee is...tea! lol

  8. I'll admit to being a bit immature, but I don't even use a baby voice to talk to babies, latte or no latte! :-)

  9. Oh my, I hope any of the types aren't true. I'm a huge coffee drinker!

    I just picked up The Peach Keeper at the library today actually :)

  10. I tend to be a black coffee drinker, and alas, moody and difficult sound about right.

  11. Fun post. I have confused many a waitress by ordering tea at the beginning of the meal and then ordering a coffee with dessert.

  12. I agree a really fun post. I'm a black coffee drinker or an espresso drinker -- plain. I loved that video clip. Too funny.

    The Peach Keeper looks like my kind of book.

  13. So I wonder about the iced coffee drinker? That is my favorite kind :)

  14. I am kind of a plane old black coffee drinker.... occasionally I will go for the mocha lite no whip at Caribou :)

  15. You're the second person today to recommend THE PEACH KEEPER to me! It was also a suggestion of a "Boston Book Bum" on our panel at the Newburyport Literary Festival today :)

    No, none of those coffee personalities are very flattering, are they!?

  16. Oh dear...I drink only non-coffee fraps, tea or Nespresso. I think the Oracle would rate me as 'confused'!

  17. That was fun reading about the coffee personalities. I'm a black coffee drinker, and except for the minimalist bit (which I sure am not but strive to be), everything else seems to be spot on!

  18. Aths and Charley, interesting that it does seem to have some types correct!

    Sam, did you try ad see what it did come up with? BTW, if you want to try again the form at Historical Tapestry should be working now.

    Dawn and Leslie, I would recommend all of Sarah Addison Allen's books.

    Sheila, I think that the way we order coffee is one of the big differences between Australians and Americans. I have no idea what a mocha lite no whip would be!

    Hungry Bookworm, I hope it's a Farmers Union Iced Coffee (Adelaide girl here, and we all know that it is Farmers Union or it's nothing.

    Beth, have you read Sarah Addison Allen? I really think you would enjoy all of her books. I think we have talked about her before.

    Heather, I drink both too, but not at the same meal!

    Meg, I hope you enjoy reading The Peach Keeper.

    Col, you can be the exception to the rule!

    Caite, Bookgirl and Margot, it is interesting that there was no mention about tea given that one of the authors at least is British.

    Faith, I would be interested to hear what you think of it if you do find the book.

    Uniflame, I am closer to a non coffee drinker than I am to anything else, and I don't really miss it too much.

    Thanks for stopping by Carol!

  19. I drink a lot of coffee, and have worn out several espresso machines..according to the Starbucks Oracle I am an ASSHAT....they can bite me now!

  20. I really, really enjoyed reading this post! Thanks for the many links, I especially liked the Starbucks Oracle xD I usually get a soy cappuccino (but rarely go there, way too expensive), so obviously I'm a hippie :P At home I always make espresso, which makes me a very successful person? Hardly ;D